19-year-old school graduate finds out older sister spent her college fund on her step-children's private school tuition, causing the family to divide: 'My grandparents are heartbroken but can’t just pull that money out of nowhere again'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jun 29, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Imagine working tirelessly for years with the sole hope of attending the university of your dreams. 

The time has finally come to make the big-girl request for your college fund, the most precious stack of savings, carefully set aside for this very purpose, a key puzzle piece in turning your dream into a reality. But in an instant, it all comes crashing down, your dreams are shattered before your eyes, like a dropped piggy bank on the floor beneath you: The fund is empty, not even a cent to its name. 

How could this happen?

Well, your older sister decided that her new stepchildren's private school tuition was more important and that she would pay it back eventually. The 'trusted and responsible' sister has just ripped away your future from under you, and the worst part, she doesn't see the problem with her selfish acts. 

The family is divided, making it even harder to find support as you navigate your newly-found heartbreak. And now, here you are…stuck without a college fund, forced to decline your acceptance into college and left with a sister who thinks she's done no wrong…ouch!

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  • This is the reality for one high school graduate. After discovering that her college savings were spent on her older sister’s stepchildren, she’s left feeling hopeless. With no guidance on which direction to take her life next, she’s now questioning whether a relationship with her sister is even worth maintaining. Read on for more details about this frustrating family feud.

  • 01
    "My older sister confessed that she used the money for her stepkids' private school tuition"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to help my sister after she gave my college fund to her stepkids?

    I'm (19F) and recently graduated high school. Since I was a kid, my grandparents set aside a college fund for me. It wasn't a huge
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  • 03
    amount, but it was enough to cover community college and part of a university transfer. Last month, my older sister
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    "Emily" (32F) confessed that she used the money for her stepkids' (ages 12 and 14) private schoo tuition. She's been married for
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    two years to "Jason," who has full custody of his kids. They're nice enough, but we aren't close. I was obviously furious when I
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    found out. Emily said she was "just borrowing it” and planned to pay it back eventually. I asked when, and she said "when we're
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    more financially stable." No actual plan. The worst part? My grandparents never gave her permission. They
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    trusted her to be the "adult" who managed the account because | was underage when it was set up. I trusted her too.
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    HA 1914 WASHINGTON.D.C. ESORA LLARG College Fund D.C. 55D 5
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    Now I'm stuck. I got into my dream university but can't afford it without loans. My grandparents are heartbroken but can't just pull
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    that money out of nowhere again. I had to decline my acceptance and start working full-time while figuring out my options.
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    This week, Emily asked if I could start babysitting her stepkids for free during the summer, since "you're not in school anymore.
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    straight up said no. She got defensive and accused me of "punishing her children for something they didn't do."
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    She said I'm being selfish and vindictive. Our parents are split- Dad says she messed up and I owe her nothing, Mom says
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  • 15
    "family is more important than money" and I should let it go.
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  • 16
    Perimentalpause I'm confused why your sister had control over it and not your parents. Or why it wasn't put in a trust. Some of this sounds off, tbh. If it's
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    real, then I'd sue. "Get your husband and his family to pay me back for THEIR kids." Sue her for financial ab e and fraud.
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    cxllipe OP I was 13 when they set it up, and she was already an adult, so I guess they thought she'd be responsible.
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    My parents weren't involved because... well, they're not great with money either. My dad lives out of state and has always been kind of hands-off. My mom and Emily have always been closer, and Mom kept pushing that Emily was "trustworthy."
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  • 20
    Just-passedby Sue. She's entitled. It's not for her to decide when she's financially stable enough to pay. Set the record straight with contract and give her deadline to pay back money she misused it or else you'll have to go to court and it'll be super ugly
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    cxllipe OP I've thought about legal action like suing but whenever I talk about it I'm told I'll probably spend more money carrying it out then I would get back
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  • 22
    ComprehensiveAd2037 Tell her to take loans and pay you back, if family so important over money to her...
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  • 23
    FordWarrier Unblock her. Every time she sends you a text, send back one word. THIEF
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  • 24
    Ok_Objective8366 Do you have any text or documentation say that money was for your college? If yes then take her to court plus attorney fees
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  • 25
    Winterwynd NTA. I'd have told her you aren't punishing her kids, you need to work to make money to replace what she stole from you. Very simple and true.
    via Winterwynd

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responsibility family drama drama siblings college fund stepchild stepmom trust fund askreddit reddit story collage family sister little sister savings entitled people
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